It Could've Been Me

“For it is written: I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered.” —Mark 14:27

As I sit in heart with the Lord over the troubles in this world, I find myself sitting at the table amongst the disciples and Jesus. I hear many Peters boldly stating their “I will not” statements, and I see Judas Iscariot, the man who betrayed Jesus. Amongst the chatter, I hear Jesus reveal to them, “One of you will betray me—one who is eating with me,” and to the rest, He corrects their rebuke: “You will all fall away.”

In this I ask myself: why Judas Iscariot? How is it that the same men who dropped everything to completely devote their lives to His mission, who witnessed firsthand all the miracles and salvations that came from Him—how is it that if they fell away, as it was written “I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered”—then why not me?

Scripture shows us God’s sovereignty throughout, His plan and His knowing—the Alpha and the Omega of it all—brought to completion in the perfection of His will.

God’s Sovereignty in Appointed Times

• Esther 4:14 — “Who knows if perhaps you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” Her time was purposed by God for such a time as this.

• Exodus 4:21 — “The LORD said to Moses, ‘When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go.’” The Lord hardened Pharaoh’s heart. He is the only One who can change the heart of man (Proverbs 21:1).

• Job 1:8–12 — “Then the LORD said to Satan, ‘Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one on earth like him, a man who is blameless and upright, who fears God and shuns evil.’ Satan answered the LORD, ‘Does Job fear God for nothing? Have You not placed a hedge on every side around him and his household and all that he owns? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out Your hand and strike all that he has, and he will surely curse You to Your face.’ ‘Very well,’ said the LORD to Satan. ‘Everything he has is in your hands, but you must not lay a hand on the man himself.’” God is the one who permitted Satan to enter Job’s life.

• John 14:15–17 — “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you do know Him, for He abides with you and will be in you.” We can only believe in Jesus because the Spirit reveals Him to us.

The Betrayal Foretold

Scripture after Scripture confirms that Judas’s betrayal was known before time. From Matthew to Luke, from John to Acts, the betrayal was foretold, fulfilled, and sealed so that the Son of Man would go “just as it is written about Him.”

It could not have been a stranger who handed Him over. To be betrayed means it must come from one close to your heart. And so it was Judas—one of the Twelve, chosen, who became “the son of destruction” (John 17:12).

• Matthew 26:14–16 — “Then one of the Twelve, the one called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and asked, ‘What are you willing to give me if I hand Him over to you?’ And they set out for him thirty pieces of silver. So from then on Judas looked for an opportunity to betray Jesus.”

• Matthew 26:20–25 — “When evening came, Jesus was reclining with the twelve disciples. And while they were eating, He said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you will betray Me.’ They were deeply grieved and began to ask Him one after another, ‘Surely not I, Lord?’ Jesus answered, ‘The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with Me will betray Me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about Him, but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed. It would be better for him if he had not been born.’ Then Judas, who would betray Him, said, ‘Surely not I, Rabbi?’ Jesus answered, ‘You have said it yourself.’”

• Matthew 27:3–10 — “When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was filled with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders. ‘I have sinned by betraying innocent blood,’ he said. ‘What is that to us?’ they replied. ‘You bear the responsibility.’ So Judas threw the silver into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself. The chief priests picked up the pieces of silver and said, ‘It is unlawful to put this into the treasury, since it is blood money.’ After conferring together, they used the money to buy the potter’s field as a burial place for foreigners. That is why it has been called the Field of Blood to this day. Then what was spoken through Jeremiah the prophet was fulfilled: ‘They took the thirty pieces of silver, the price set on Him by the people of Israel, and they gave them for the potter’s field, as the Lord had commanded me.’”(The silver pieces were known by the Lord before.)

• Matthew 26:45 — “Then He returned to the disciples and said, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us go! See, My betrayer is approaching!’”(Jesus called his disciples by their name, and Judas Iscariot was named “My betrayer.”)

• Mark 14:17–21 — “When evening came, Jesus arrived with the Twelve. And while they were reclining and eating, Jesus said, ‘Truly I tell you, one of you who is eating with Me will betray Me.’ They began to be grieved and to ask Him one after another, ‘Surely not I?’ He answered, ‘It is one of the Twelve—the one who is dipping his hand into the bowl with Me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about Him, but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed! It would be better for him if he had not been born.’”(It was written that the Son of Man would go. As it was written, one of His own betrayed Him.)

• Luke 22:3–6 — “Then Satan entered Judas Iscariot, who was one of the Twelve. And Judas went to discuss with the chief priests and temple officers how he might betray Jesus to them. They were delighted and agreed to give him money. Judas consented, and began to look for an opportunity to betray Jesus to them in the absence of a crowd.”(Satan entered Judas.)

• Luke 24:7 — “It is necessary that the Son of Man be betrayed into the hands of sinful men, be crucified, and rise on the third day.”(It had to be one of his chosen ones to betray him or he wouldn't have been considered to be betrayed. For you can not be betrayed by a stranger, but one of your own.)

• John 6:60–71 — “Jesus said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum. On hearing it, many of His disciples said, ‘This is a difficult teaching. Who can accept it?’ Aware that His disciples were grumbling about this teaching, Jesus asked them, ‘Does this offend you? Then what will happen if you see the Son of Man ascend to where He was before? The Spirit gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. However, there are some of you who do not believe.’ (For Jesus had known from the beginning which of them did not believe and who would betray Him.) Then Jesus said, ‘This is why I told you that no one can come to Me unless the Father has granted it to him.’ From that time on many of His disciples turned back and no longer walked with Him. So Jesus asked the Twelve, ‘Do you want to leave too?’ Simon Peter replied, ‘Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that You are the Holy One of God.’ Jesus answered them, ‘Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!’ He was speaking about Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. For although Judas was one of the Twelve, he was later to betray Jesus.”(Knew the whole time who was chosen to betray Him.)

• John 12:4–6; 13:2; 13:18; 13:26–30; 17:11–12 — Judas is revealed as a thief, as one whose heart was open to the devil, the “son of destruction” so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

• Acts 1:12–22 — Peter confirms, “Brothers, the Scripture had to be fulfilled… concerning Judas, who became a guide for those who arrested Jesus.”

Could It Have Been Me?

Judas’s thoughts revealed a heart still bound in sin. Though he served Jesus, he also served money. He consented to betrayal, and Satan entered him. The others, though scattered, returned. Judas, the son of destruction, was lost so that Scripture would be fulfilled.

In remembering “it is written,” I find myself in discord: one had to be the betrayer. But why not Peter, why not Matthew, James, Peter, or John? And in a subtle heart, I ask: it could have been me—and if not, why not?

The Heart of the Matter

Two scriptures capture my heart in this:

John 6:61–70 and Matthew 22:14 — “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

We are all called according to His purpose and plan. Judas was chosen for desolation, as part of God’s sovereign will. That alone reminds me that being “chosen” is not about role or title—it is about who you are in heart before Him.

And here is the mystery: there comes a choice in this walk of faith that becomes you. Not chosen by accident or by title, but chosen in truth when you choose Him back. Judas was called, Judas was among the chosen, yet he chose otherwise. Peter, though scattered, chose to return. John chose to remain at the cross. Their choice became who they were, just as my choice becomes who I am.

And I cannot forget that Jesus prayed for Simon: “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers” (Luke 22:31–32). Jesus did not want it to be Simon, and His prayer saved him. Peter still stumbled, still denied, but the prayer of Jesus carried him through to return.

It could have been me—but it is not, because when faced with the same crossroad, I choose Him. And in choosing Him, I find I am chosen.For we must always remember His sovereignty remains, and in being chosen, it could've been me.